that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
