Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there's paper in my vomit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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