sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize