Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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