Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont even know how to be here
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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