I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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