hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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