Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Houston, we have a squirter
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
