why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
