He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize