scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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