Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My vagina just recognized that song.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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