omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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