I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Shame - the story of my life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
