you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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