She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
