He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
