they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
