it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
