I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
