Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
