you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
