Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
