Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
