I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
