I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
