let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
