Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
