Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
