i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This toilet bowl is my home.
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