You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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