arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
