im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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