I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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