It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
