that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
