I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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