the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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