I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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