Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
