things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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