dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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