Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
