fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
