Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
