wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
