Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
