But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Randomize
