hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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