Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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