Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
