thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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