so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
