my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
