Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
