I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
