so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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