i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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