so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
